Find Yourself

Find Yourself (Available on Netflix) 

Content Warning: Language, Sexual Content (implied but not shown), Kissing, Drinking, and Innuendo

Rating: D

Character Glossary: 

He Fanxing: Main Girl 

Yuan Song: Main Guy 

He Canyang: He Fanxing's brother

Ye Luming: CEO of big corporation

Cai Minmin: Ye Luming's niece

Xiaoyu and Song Xue: He Fanxing's Besties

Find Yourself is a show about 32 year old He Fanxing who falls in love with Yuan Song who is younger than her. As she navigates love and life she learns that the things you want most are the hardest to get. 

Yes, I FINALLY finished all 41 episodes of this show. And I am very proud of myself because this was not an easy journey. I'm grateful I finished this show because there were a lot of things that developed that I absolutely loved. (Which is why I rated this a D instead of a D- or an F) Would I recommend this show? Probably not. I felt like the main romance was not developed like it should have been and it made the other, better written parts not as great. I used to say this was an awful show now I think it is better catagorized as "subpar." I will explain in more detail below if you are still debating whether or not to watch it. 

SPOILERS AHEAD READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

OVERALL STORY: My biggest complaint is the romance so I will leave that for the main romance section even though it is part of the overall story. The main romance aside I liked a lot of the topics that the show brought up. Obviously the idea of social acceptance. A lot of the problems in the show stem from the fear of not being accepted socially. I liked how the show handled it and how the main girl gained a lot of confidence from learning to live her own life instead of caring so much about what other people think. I also liked how the show dealt with He Fanxing's father getting diagnosed with Alzheimers. That is a hard topic and I felt like they really showed how hard it was for the family to come to grips with it. It also showed how they banded together to deal with the problem and I definitely loved how that was shown. There are more that will be discussed below but the portrayal of these topics was really well done. My big problem with the plot is that is was 41 episodes of pretty much useless drama. Meteor Garden is 49 episodes long but every piece of drama was pushing the couple towards something. You needed every single one of those 49 episodes to complete the story but did this show really need 41 episodes? With the way it is written--I don't think so. I just really wasn't all that impressed with what they chose to focus on....mainly the romance.

MAIN ROMANCE: I have a lot to say on this subject because I despised the way their relationship was handled. There was not a whole lot in the beginning to explain why they liked each other in the first place. Yuan Song just liked her and then she was like "oh I like you too." It was too sudden and I felt like the way their story progressed they desperately needed more foundation to their relationship. I got my hopes up around the time when He Fanxing had the "brilliant" idea of dating Ye Luming after she and Yuan Song broke up. I got my hopes up because Yuan Song was determined to win her back and I thought for sure they would get more scenes together to build up their relationship in a way that shows why she and Yuan Song would be better together than her and Ye Luming. But is that what happened? NO OF COURSE NOT. I wanted them together for only two reasons: 1. I love Yuan Song and I wanted him to be happy 2. I hate Ye Luming and did not want him to end up with her. Honestly if I didn't dislike Ye Luming so much I might've wanted him and He Fanxing to stay together because of just how much build up they got. I am really disappointed in how the main romance was handled especially with how pivotal it was to the show as a whole. I liked them at the end but even then them getting back together was WAY to sudden. 

SECONDARY ROMANCE: These two are the reason I finished this show in the first place. And if they were the main couple I would totally buy this series because they were super cute! I do wish they had more scenes together and build up but I felt like it worked out fine. This is between He Canyang and Cai Minmin. They reflected, I think, how the main couple should have been handled. They faced problems together and grew together. I lived for their scenes during this show because they had way more chemistry and backing than the main couple. I know a lot of people watched this show solely for this couple and I am the same way. So if you are considering watching this show I think this couple makes it worth it but you do have to deal with a lot. 

OTHER COUPLES: Another couple in this show was between two people who worked where He Fanxing worked. They had a lot of chemistry and their scenes were so well portrayed that even though we didn't get to see a ton of them we fully supported them. They were super cute! He had, had a crush on her forever and we see her slowly fall in love with him. Like the secondary couple I would love to see more of them but I was satisfied with what I saw. 

HE FANXING: I wanted to strangle her pretty much throughout this whole show. The big thing about her character is the fact that she is 32 and has never dated or fallen in love. So she is naive and innocent. Alright that makes sense but when does naive and innocent mean immature and ridiculous? She is 32 years old and yet she is not mature enough to handle her own relationships? I just don't understand her whole thought process on keeping her relationship a secret or listening to Ye Luming's awful advice. She would do ridiculous things and had the excuse that since she had never had a relationship before she gets a pass. Tell me this: do you have to have been in a relationship to understand that you shouldn't wear some other man's jewelry on a date with YOUR BOYFRIEND?! And she did not communicate with Yuan Song like she should have and I can only suspend my disbelief for so long. She did admit at the end that what she did was stupid but I can't help but being frustrated at her character. The actress did the best with what she was given but the writers clearly didn't think her through. 

YUAN SONG: This might sound hilarious but he is seriously one of the most attractive guys I have seen on a drama so far. I'm not kidding. And his character was super sweet and awesome which made me like him even more. He went through a whole lot of crap in this show though and I feel so bad. There was a huge part of me who thought he should just go study abroad meet someone else and live happily ever after. But I guess I am grateful that he got what he wanted. I really loved him as a character--I would definitely watch the actor in other dramas. 

HE CANYANG: HE WAS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CHARACTER. I don't know why, really, but he was. He was funny and I liked how he handled things. He was a good friend and a good person. It was interesting to learn more about his character and he was a good example of how being more immature for your age can work. I wish we saw more of him but I will try to find him in other dramas and hopefully see the actor in a main lead! (I really wish he and his girlfriend were the main leads in this show....) 

YE LUMING: I really did not like him at all. If anyone pulled the moves he did in this show on me you better believe I would get a restraining order ASAP. Before I get to that stuff I do just want to talk about how he really did not respect He Fanxing. I mean he specifically gave her advice that would lead her to break up. And he was a manipulative liar. He did things that I don't think anyone should be okay with and in the end no one really acknowledged that what he did was wrong. I mean he was a stalker and incredibly possessive of He Fanxing. Like the day that they first started dating. She didn't respond to one of his texts so he literally texted someone else to find out where she was. And even before they started dating if she didn't respond he would spam her and then find out where she was and show up. But I will note that at the end he did acknowledge that what he did was wrong. So instead of hating him now I just intensely dislike him. 

CAI MINMIN: I won't talk too much about her because we don't see a lot of her but I liked her a lot as a character. It was one of my favorite parts of the show seeing her mature from the spoiled girl she used to be. We see her become more independent and really work for her future. It was one of the better parts of the show and I wish we could have seen more with her in it because she was phenomenal. (I am really looking forward to seeing this actress in other roles.) 

XIAOYU AND SONG XUE:  Their plot lines were some of my favorites in the show. First of all I adored them both as characters and I was glad they got some of their own screen time and stories. Xiaoyu's story was heartbreaking and I freely admit I teared up during the worst bits. Her husband cheated on her and to pour salt in the wound berrated her to his new girlfriend. It was seriously sickening. And they had two kids which made it hard for her to decide to get a divorce. But she did and I love how it was all handled. I was so proud of her for making that choice because she deserved better. Song Xue we got her big thing more towards the end of the story. She and her serious boyfriend never wanted to have kids but she accidentally got pregnant. Determined to keep the child she broke up with him thinking that he would never want to have children. But it was so sweet because he confronted her and they ended up getting married. He wanted to help her raise their child and it was sooooo sweet. 

QUOTE: "If we could choose who we love, there would be nothing to glorify about love." 

SHIP VIDEO: (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS) 

Main Couple: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehK4XP6IlHA

Secondary Couple: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwqMPMdcSzA